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  • Writer's pictureQueen Favor-Wheeler

Time has a way of maturing even the fool

Updated: Jul 31, 2019

The long lived controversy over the flags that are held dear to so many brings up many thoughts and feelings for me. I've received many packages - some delivered with little announcement and others dropped right on my head without warning.

In one of the packages I received was a question.

"How many ideals have you been willing to wish harm on others in order to protect"

I think back to my "sanctified church" days and how many women I frowned upon for not looking, sounding, behaving or dressing in a way that I considered "respectful" of the god in which I represented.

My god was worthy of honor and respect because of what he had done for all. I think of the comments I made, the looks I gave, the judgement I passed. I think of how real it all was for me. How sure I was that I was in the right. Time has a way of maturing even the fool.

My god was an ideal. An ideal that wasn't even my own but handed down to me. An ideal that served some well and caused others great suffering and even death. The truth is God is a concept that I can't even wrap my mind around let alone think that I know what clothing and behaviors it prefers if any. I realized just how egotistical I must allow myself to be to make any claim that I have a clue.

When I strip away all of my ideals to include those I have inherited I'm left with love, acceptance of self and compassion. What I am left with is all I really ever wanted. So when I am faced with the option of accepting and holding onto an ideal, whether it's religion, a flag, a political party, a law - it's all the same to me.

Women have been the carriers and executioners of ideals. We do it so well that every sector of society has geared its marketing in a way to exploit our ability to accept, conform and viciously judge anyone who does not. We then instill these ideals into our children and children within our sphere of influence. If you want an ideal to become truth convince a woman that it's true better yet connect it to her faith and she will enforce it even if it's an ideal that makes her inferior to the one who creates it.

A woman's natural state strips away ideals. Women have the ability to hear what love speaks and create it therefore ideals are not necessary. Ideals are mans visions of perfection but the woman blesses her every creation and calls it good. She nurtures it and cultivates it allowing it to grow and she celebrates its unique beauty and offering. In her garden there is no need to protect ideals - those things imagined. For she uses her energy to bring forth that which is real and true. In her garden there are plants that fools once sought for wisdom. Herbs that the sick once sought for healing. Trees that the weary once sought for shelter.

What ideals have you been used as a mule for. Carrying them and fighting for them without thought of the negative affects they have on you or other human beings to include those around you. Open the package when you feel the strong urge to be for or against anything or anyone. Open the package and get the message your heart is sending you. I have worked with many women and I have yet to hear their heart speak in terms of for or against - only Being. Who are we Being that would create a space in which a flag could cause such a disturbance within our garden, within our world.

Your sister friend,


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