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  • Writer's pictureQueen Favor-Wheeler

Well that's your perspective bullsh*t

I know conversations can change everything. And if you really know me you know I am here for mind shifting conversations especially around social and human issues.

I find myself silently waiting to jump in on a conversation about the issue of the day - sexual assault against women and their choice of how and when they expose the perpetrator.

Who's perspective is right and who's perspective is wrong has been an ongoing theme in discussions. So much so that the outcome of the matter is judged accordingly. We're in trouble.

"Well that's your perspective" seems to be the new catch phrase to excuse away being in a conversation that we personally have no life impacting experience with. It excuses away our inability to find the pain of it within ourselves to connect us to the issue.

My perspective is right. It is exactly the perspective you would have if you had the exact same experiences that I had. Your perspective is right too for the same reason. The issue is not that we don't have the same perspective.

I have been in many conversations where others shared their perspective solely to point out what they see as my blind spots. It's one of the easiest ways to have sensitive conversations such as race, politics, sex and religion when you can't speak from life impacting personal experience connected to the issue.

Sharing my perspective is not an invitation to be corrected or persuaded. It is a gift. One that allows you to see me. To get a glimpse of what my experiences have been and how they have affected me. I believe that this is true for yours as well.

What would happen if we accepted that everyone's perspective is exactly the perspective they should have given their chosen and unchosen experiences?

We would be required to rise up into a higher way of seeing or drop down into a deeper way of understanding. We wouldn't live on a level where choices are made that affect all from the perspective of one or few.

It is possible to live with our perspective while not being driven by it or imprisoned by it. Knowing the difference between one's own perspective and the untouched inner holy GPS is our individual responsibility. It seems that we fear the task of sitting with ourselves and allowing our perspectives to shine light on the areas in which we've gotten off center. Areas where we gave up and chose to take on the beliefs and understandings of someone else instead of seeking to know what was written upon our hearts since eternity.

The longer I sit with mine the more I question why we continue to create the conditions that cause perspectives that lead to wars, killings, poverty, "natural disasters" that Nature didn't create, hatred, violence, sexual assaults and hopelessness.

Perhaps the real fear is that to look past our perspectives is to see ourselves and those we love as the perpetrators who helped create the conditions in which we need to have such conversations. It's much easier to skip over all of that and say we turned out just fine and our perspective is not only right but righteous and we need to vote it into law so everyone else act accordingly.

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