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  • Writer's pictureQueen Favor-Wheeler


Loyalty - Consistent, Committed, True, Unconditional Love

That's my definition of loyalty.

The contemplation of my definition of loyalty was sparked by a call. After drilling down on the issue which prompted the call (which had nothing to do with loyalty so I thought), she asked me what loyalty means to me and who or what am I willing to be loyal to.

Now I ask that clarifying question to my clients all the time. I'm a true believer that our individualized definition of the words we use is of major importance. Often times it's the unseen details in our unique definitions that cause us to feel misunderstood and sometimes even bringing offence to ourselves or others.

Now being the deep thinker that I am, I then asked myself "Self, what are your definitions for consistent, committed, true and unconditional love"

Consistent = Authentic

Committed………long pause. I thought about the idea of commitment and what I was willing to be committed to. No matter what I thought about - in the end I could think of a reason I would break the commitment except for one, commitment to Self.

True = Authentic

Love = Self

The second part of the question was what am I willing to be loyal to.

I am willing to allow myself to leave or move on. Not holding myself in a place or situation by overlooking or excusing misalignment and value transgressions. I am willing to allow myself to remain in or go back to places or situations that I disconnected from because I judged my behaviors, responses or actions as my unworthiness to be there.

Clarifying my definition of a word that I attribute so much value to allowed me to quickly and easily allow everything that troubled me fall gracefully away. How do I know? Because the two statements that came out of this exercise speaks to not only who I am to my Self but who I aspire to be to others. And I can't be or give anything to others that I don't first be and give to my Self.

You may use the same words as everyone else but they have a unique meaning to you that only you know.

Define your words or others will define them for you leaving you misunderstood and disconnected.

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