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  • Writer's pictureQueen Favor-Wheeler

Left unchecked and unchallenged you too will get caught slippin'

Today there is a storm cloud with Roseanne Barr's name branded on it. Her statement aimed at another woman, wrapped in racial slurs, has literally changed her life and those connected to her in an instant.

Her life changed in an instant. Those who worked with her on her show lost their jobs in an instant. Views and judgement of her changed in an instant. However what brought her to that moment was a series of instance's left unchecked and unchallenged.

Notice: I didn't say that she was left unchecked and unchallenged.

Many women would jump to that conclusion. That conclusion would allow us to take comfort in knowing that we are different from Roseanne and would never be so careless. Not so fast sis. It wasn't a matter of her not checking herself because in this world women are checked often and swiftly, often by other women. No, Roseanne made the mistake of not checking or challenging the moments in which she encountered those who would stir up the venom that spewed out of her. Trust and believe that there were those moments.

We often have moments when the ugliness in this world identifies itself in us. You know. like when someone makes a nasty comment, does something shady, manipulates with their influence and you're easily able to explain it away, overlook it and justify the good work that person does and how many people they help. I don't know many women who entertain the possibility that to do so is a sign that they themselves have the same ugliness inside of them waiting to raise its head.

I would guess that like Roseanne most women are surprised when it does. All of your work to treat everybody "kind" and put out "positivity" with a sprinkle of love gets washed away in an instant when that ugliness shows up without an RSVP.

Let this be a warning and an invitation to us as women. Let us be honest with our Selves else we find our Selves lost to us in an instant. Many of us claim that we are wrongfully judged by who we vote for, who we associate with, what clubs we're members of or the affiliations we have.

What is drawn to us - What we are drawn to, can only connect to us because it finds itself in us. When it can no longer find itself in us it falls away.

Your sister friend,


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